Stop Rockstaring at Me

As a “new kid,” the last thing you want to do is stand out in a not so positive manner. I learned this lesson the hard way. Walking into middle school with stitches in one’s face after banging into a door is an example of what not to do if you want to make friends, trust me.

Finding myself in a new school ten years later, I vowed never to make the same mistake again. But fate had something different in mind.

It all started on taco night in my new place. Surrounded by beige carpet, eggshell walls and other lonely, neutral colors, I hoped that the scratchiness in my throat was a result of singing in my car.

Alas, the next day it was confirmed that I had a cold.

Days 1-3 Symptoms: sore throat, swollen glands. Run of the mill.

Days 4 and 5 Symptoms: friends dubbed it the sexy, raspy voice. Inappropriate phone messages and calls made to demonstrate the effect of said voice. Also did a reading of Cosmos’s latest sex tips at a going away party.

Day 6 Symptoms: mucous.

Day 6 unfortunately coincided with the first day of class.

Sliding into the back of French was the easy part. After the first cough, my cover was blown. I was officially spotted and tagged as a potential disease carrier, even though the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website clarifies that “[i]n general, the flu is worse than the common cold, and symptoms such as fever, body aches, extreme tiredness, and dry cough are more common and intense.” None of which I had. Nevertheless, the headlines abounding about H1N1 virus and the swine flu clause in all syllabi made each and every sniffle a source of extreme suspicion.

But it’s not as if I don’t care. I do. I was determined to take every germ precaution offered possible even though I was sure I was not contagious.

Case in point: the hand sanitizer at the Reitz Union elevator bank. Perfect!, I thought as I hurried over. Not so much. While my hands may have been cleaner, they surely didn’t look that way. What I thought would be gel turned out to be foam; a non-absorbing, white, semi-liquid foam which did not actually look like hand sanitizer. Was there really any way to avoid public embarrassment in my circumstances?

No. The coughing attack began in a stadium style lecture hall. My eyes watered. The harder I tried to suppress it, the more my lungs wanted to explode with a racking cough that made my whole body shudder. Way to make a good first impression, right?

But the real point of this self-deprecatory rant is really that we all need to relax just a little bit. Not only is the stress of the first week of school mostly self-imposed yet unnecessary worry, but so is thinking that you will die from swine flu.
Though this is not in any way advising against normal medical precautions, let’s not go overboard here. It’s tempting to listen to sensationalism but maybe not so healthy. Instead, simple advice is often the best. Take your vitamin C, get a reasonable amount of sleep and plan on packing your own hand sanitizer.